House is a mystery show, Sherlock Holmes in a hospital with a bit of CSI thrown in. The problem is that I'm not a doctor, so I have to take their word for it on the medical mystery aspect. It always ends up feeling like the solution is a character whose first appearance is at the very end, dramatically stepping in from behind the curtains to take the blame. Aha! It was malignant fibromajestic transnecrotic spleenitis! Aha! The plumber did it! [There was a plumber in this story??] To make up for this, and to allow us to play along, they have to make just about everyone getting treated be liars, so we at least can try to figure out the lies, if not the medical condition.
The other problem with watching House is that now every time my foot itches I diagnose myself with liver failure.
Foot itching is generally a symptom of late onset rickets.
ReplyDeleteMore vitamin D!!
ReplyDeleteWait, what about acute renal failure?
ReplyDelete[Bends down to scracch foot.]
Good question. You are right to suspect acute renal failure, which is known to strike without warning and is, I believe, vastly under-reported by young men. I think if your foot itches at all, the best course of action is to check yourself into a state-of-the-art hospital where a team of doctors can work round the clock diagnosing your exact rare illness.
ReplyDeleteJust don't go see Dr. House. You will end up with your foot amputated and a lung transplant before he and his crack team finally diagnose it properly as acute stepped-on-a-thorny-weed syndrome.
ReplyDelete