heavy fingers

I learned to type nearly 30 years ago, on manual typewriters. Years ago I got over the violent assault on lightweight computer keyboards that is practiced by those used to having a direct correlation between input force of finger impact input and legibility of output. However, while I know that two spaces after a period have not been needed for quite a while in the modern era of typsetting, I have not been able to adapt. It just happens automatically. It hasn't mattered until now, since blogspot doesn't correctly handle the extra whitespace. Which drives me crazy, so I have to go back over each post and remove extra spaces. I am curious to see if I will ever adapt.

how long did it take me to have this insight

The other morning I stepped out of the shower and noticed a word written on the mirror. JJ listens to the radio while showering and sometimes writes song names on the foggy mirror to note them for later purchase. I swiped clear a swath under the title and ducked down to check my hair in the mirror. It would have been simple enough to wipe the writing away if I was feeling annoyed or pissed off about anything. The choice is made daily, in many small actions rather than grand ones, between resentment or appreciation, antagonism or consideration.

Snowboarding Illustrated

Here a group discusses proper fundamentals.  At least 70% of a boarder's time on piste should be spent in relaxed discussion.

A boarder demonstrates complete mastery of the Fundamental Position.

Refreshingly Direct Medicine Naming

Prescribed to "dissolve mucous in the lungs":  Mucosolvan!

Travel Tip

especially for those who think they are not Europeans (Irish and English, that means you)

Do not wear swimsuits in the sauna.

How To Snowboard

Now that I'm retiring the snowboard, I should pass on my knowledge of the subject, to help aspiring boarders everywhere realize their potential.

There is a lot of equipment to consider before you begin snowboarding. You will need bindings. You will spend an inordinate amount of time fiddling with your bindings, so get the most tedious ones you can find. You will probably need a board. More important is a jacket and some trousers. If you're not sure what style you like, pick out whatever looks most like pajamas. Snowboarding is kind of like a big pajama party, but a little colder and everyone's stoned. Headwear is important. If you wear a helmet, you will not experience the nauseating joy of a concussion, so skip that and get a bandana instead, or a goofy winter hat designed to maximize hilarity. A backpack is not mandatory but is nice to have. It doesn't matter what you put into it, since you must never be seen to actually open it or extract anything from it, ever. So you can stuff it with ganja or put a change of clothes and a couple paperbacks in there, doesn't matter.

The most basic snowboarding position involves standing comfortably on the board, knees bent, and lowering your backside until it is pressed into the snow and most of your weight has been transferred to it. Beginners will execute this move somewhat jarringly, while experts can do it quickly yet smoothly. Non-snowboarders will often refer to this as "sitting" or "sitting down", but technically this is your Fundamental Position, and is the basis for all snowboarding technique. You will eventually master heel and toe slides, falling leaf, and probably several types of turns, but you must always revert to the Fundamental Position frequently to maintain excellent form.

Take care getting off of lifts. You will want to stop and adjust your bindings wherever is most inconvenient for everyone coming off the lift after you. After you have strapped your boots in fully, sit down (i.e. assume the Fundamental Position). Then get up and slide around near the top of a run. Slide down a few feet, maybe execute a single turn, then sit down again. Beginners will be self-conscious and probably do this at the edge of the piste. More advanced boarders know that the proper place is in the middle of the piste. Here you can best decide on what "line" you want to take. Don't plan too far ahead -- you will not want to go move than 100 or 200 meters before you stop again.

Eventually, you will stand up and begin carving your way gracefully down the piste. When you reach the crest of a rise, stop and sit down.  Right in the middle. Contemplate your place in the universe. Try to remember what you put in your backpack. Adjust your bindings.

Repeat this process until you find yourself at the bottom of the mountain. If at any time you fall, adjust your bindings, and sit around a while. If you are snowboarding in a group, you will need to sit even more often. Group boarding requires extra coordination and thus a near-constant reversion to Fundamental Position to maintain sound technique despite the distraction of friends. You may often need to discuss with each other the best path down the mountain or what you should have lunch. Standing still on a snowboard is tiring, so do sit down for these group activities.

When you are moving, take care to scrape as much snow off the piste as possible. Soft snow is the bane of skiers and boarders alike. Do your part to leave a smooth, icy surface so that everyone can benefit.

Off-piste boarding can be quite fun, but you may want to avoid it since there is less sitting down. Also, if you board in the alps, you likely have never experienced actual powder. Stick to icy or slushy alpine pistes and you'll do fine. Rails and slides and half-pipes and parks are fun -- all the moves you never land on your skateboard you can also fail to land on your snowboard.

Don't forget to be smug about your comfortable boots, and avoid the flat bits. That's about all you need to know. Have fun!

vestigial inertia

Sitting at dinner, knees slightly forward, I am almost startled when I slide my feet around and find them unencumbered by skis. It's like spending all day on an airplane or in the ocean and still feeling the sensation of waves at night. Does this happen with presidencies? Will I wake up every morning a year from now still experiencing the vague feeling that something incredibly stupid and counterproductive happened while I was asleep?

Learning to Ski

I lost the plot in the middle of a turn and landed on the snow with one ski missing, my boot popping out mid-flop. My instructor deadpanned with typical Tirolean sincerity and humour, "Yes. I am glad your bindings are set correctly, because now you don't have ligament damage."

Requirement Gathering

At a small grocery store in terminal 2 of the munich airport [really nice, btw, not quite HKG nice, but really well done], I was waiting in line behind a woman, each of us with a basket of breads and fruit and yogurts and such. She shouted to her son, about 10, to get a couple bottles of mixed fresh fruit juices from a cooler near the door. The instructions were no more detailed than just that:  2 bottles from over there.  He did so, but before he made it back she said, "no, get one with orange in it." So he went back. This time it looked better, but was still not right for some reason. So she sent him back. And again. I am sure I knew the sentiment of what he was thinking even though we may word it differently. For me, it was "typical user!"

All Slogans Should Be This Good

I love Ritter SPORT. Wonderfully chunky squares of snap-in-half goodness with the greatest slogan ever to make its way onto an over-engineered chocolate bar wrapper: Quadratisch. Praktisch. Gut.

Bratwurst for Breakfast

In Austria, trying to learn how to ski.  When I learned to snowboard, I tried to channel Elvis -- pointing with lead hand, knees slightly bent, weight forward, hips rotating, hair protecting against concussion... but for skiing I haven't yet figured out who to channel.  Will require some thought.  In the meantime, I'll be churning up furrows down the tirolean pistes and trying not to torque my knees clean off my legs.

how to be a decent photographer

1. take photos
2. remove any redeye
3. show people only the good ones

That pretty much does it.  If you want to invest a further 30-60 seconds per photo:

1. crop
2. adjust white balance
3. adjust exposure