Mechanetiquette

Lifts: I know it's exciting. You are ready to stride decisively into a metal box, to be whisked up or down to the office floor of your choosing. I get excited, too. Using a modern lift is quite thrilling. CONTAIN YOUR EXCITEMENT! When the doors open, please pause, for only the briefest of moments, to let me out before you march eagerly on to your elevation adventure.

Trains: As thrilling as lifts may be, they can't hold a candle to the giddy delight of travel on the Tube. Hold me back! I, too, simply cannot wait to spend as much time as possible inside an underground car. But again, if I could ask but the slightest imposition, that you allow me to get off the train when the doors first open, delaying your gratification the merest tick of the clock before you joyously bolt into the luxurious and welcoming interior.

Escalators: Stand on the right, walk on the left -- it can be hard to remember. And the signs can be so distracting! That's ok, I am happy to politely remind you. And I completely understand that the best place to stop, look around, and re-orient yourself is immediately after stepping off the escalator. But I hope you will likewise understand that I'm behind you on a moving piece of metal and I, too, might imminently need to occupy that same space. As unreasonable and inconvenient as it may be, if you could keep moving even after exiting the escalator, we could all simply put this regrettable situation behind us.

Revolving doors: The area immediately outside the circumference of a revolving door is even more inviting! The chance to pause, get your bearings, feel the soothing breeze of the twirling bulk at your back... ah, it was a fine fellow who dreamt up a spin on the ol' door. I know I'm being a bit of a bother again, but if you could step aside to allow me to de-revolve, I would be forever in your debt.